ORANGES

a play with some music and singing and maybe even a little dancing

Adaptation,
Original Songs, Music, and Lyrics
by Meg Sturiano

Arrangements
by Benji Goldsmith

Based on a commedia dell’arte scenario by Carlo Gozzi, Oranges is the story of
a blue-blooded brat cursed by a spiteful sorceress to search the earth for captive citrus. Romance, rap battles, and rubber chickens abound in this new free-wheeling,
fast-paced, and family-friendly instant classic.

Doc, this means war—Capulets vs. Montagues
The only thing you doctor are your bad Yelp reviews.

The King of Diamonds is in despair because his only heir is inexplicably sick and sad. Il Dottore's diagnosis—terminal hypochondria. Pantalone's opinion—the doctor is a Hippocratic oaf. There's only one way to settle the score between these classic commedia rivals—and old school “Rap Battle.”

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If you forget your phone or pad or pod, laptop or tablet
Your heart might start to race and your pulse quicken.

Celebrity clown Truffaldino and the loyal subjects give royal pain, Prince Tartaglia, some advice—live a little, see the world, just “Don't Leave Home Without Your Rubber Chicken!”

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I’m looking for a love who’ll fit just like a glove,
Who loves his mother, cats, and modern art.

At the Kingdom of Diamond's Laughtival 2019, The Clementine Quintet competes for a huge cash reward (and tickets to the Canadian Tour of Mamma Mia!) with their tune to cheer the prince—“Okay, Cupid.”

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Write a novel in coffee shop? My god, what a cliché.

The King's conniving niece Clarice, her lover Leandro, and their lowly lacky Brighella perform as super group The Great Depressions. To ensure the prince remains too apathetic and miserable to inherit the throne, they ask the age-old existential question—“Why Bother (Doing Anything at All)?”

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So my bottom’s not that handsome
Huh, my little Princey?
Well you’ll search the earth and then some
For a little vitamincey.

Disguised as a little old lady, the cruel witch Fata Morgana accidentally makes Prince Tartaglia laugh by falling on her butt and flashing her granny-panties. Fata sends him on a perilous quest for three oranges—
and also tries to find a rhyme for the word oranges—
in “The Curse of Three Oranges.”

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Ok witches, now hear my invocation.

Celia the cool witch comes to slay and save the day (without being late to Oprah's for Girls' Night and getting stuck with Gwyneth for Pictionary) in “Spellmation.”

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So you didn’t realize life would be, at best, inconsistent.
Your job is misérable, your love life’s nonexistent.

On their journey to find the three oranges, Prince Tartaglia lets Truffaldino know he'll always be there for him in the buddy duet “I've Got Your Back, Friend.” Could this song BE any sappier?

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You were shopping for some figs so I asked you for a date,
When you said that we make quite a pear, I knew.

Literally no one hates clowns. So Truffaldino—along with a Dog, Cook, Rope and Gate—serenades the wicked hag Creonta with the show-stopper “Orange of My Eye,” while Prince Tartaglia makes off with the three oranges.

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Blindfold on, I spin around and whack you ‘til we see what’s
Inside of you. Oh look! I found black jellybeans and circus peanuts!

Overworked and under-appreciated henchwoman Smeraldina tells her evil overlord that the party's over—and she is not throwin' away her shot(a)—in "I'm Not Your Piñata, Fata!"

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Smeraldina finally steals the scene(a!) in I'm Not Your Piñata, Fata: Reprise!

Cuz we all like, Golden toilets, tweetin’ from the bathroom,
Crystal Pepsi, wearing’ fancy perfumed underwear.

Clarice and Leandro call dibs on the throne and plan royal renovations cuz they’re gonna be “Monarchs” (Monarchs…).

Woah, Daddy. It’s like a sauna out here.

After discovering that Truffaldino has opened the first two oranges, Prince Tartaglia decides that he can no longer wait to find his destiny that lies inside the beautiful rind of the third orange.

Let’s just say Fata is More-GONE-a for good.

The villains get what they have coming to them. King Silvio finally realizes niece rhymes with Clarice. And now it's time for Tartaglia and Ninetta to tie the royal knot! There will be cocktail weenies! Super atomic hot wings! And mason jars and photobooths like hipsters have at their weddings! Even the King of Diamond's estranged cousin Neil will be there for the festivities.

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The Chorus tells the audience that the actors fear commedia is a fading memory in our collective pop-culture consciousness—like jeggings, and Livestrong bracelets, and Roseanne Barr’s career.

His back hurts, his stomach hurts, even his feelings hurt. And he hasn't pooped in six weeks. If Prince Tartaglia doesn't get better soon, he's going to Lourdes.

Il Dottore employs state-of-the-art medical devices to cure the prince. This one nearly killed the poor guy.

Down in the "viscere della terra," Celia the cool witch and Farfarella the all-powerful she-devil make a plan to defeat Fata (and also sign up for Italian classes at the Y).

Mamma Mia! Can our heroes withstand the power of The Synchonized Wind Team's awesome routine?

Brighella tries out new stand-up material at open mics around the kingdom.

Production photos/footage from Hunter College High School, NYC. April 2018.
Direction: Meg Sturiano
Musical Direction: Benji Goldsmith
Set Design: Kyle Dixon
Lighting and Projection Design: Kevin Scott
Costume Design: Meg Sturiano
Photo Credit: Kevin Scott and Rob Fuller
Videography: Kevin Chui and Kevin Yu
Demo tracks performed by Benji Goldsmith, Meg Sturiano, and Tara Giordano
Special Thanks to Dr. John DiGaetani